How To Talk About Prison When You Get Out
It’s your story to tell, when you want to tell it
Ethan Cassidy
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Reintegration
Talking about prison once you’re out in the community can be challenging. It’s difficult to know the right thing to say, or how people might react. What if people judge, or don’t understand? Is it better to be honest with an employer, or keep your history to yourself? What about telling old friends or new friends or potential romantic partners?
There are many difficult questions and no easy answers.
In this article, we would like to share some experiences and advice from four people who have been through the criminal justice system and now work with ACSO. We hope these experiences might help you process your own feelings and strategies for talking about prison on the outside.
Keep in mind, the way you choose to disclose your history of contact with the criminal justice system is ultimately up to you.
Pattie – Peer Support Worker, ACSO
Being open about your history at work is a personal decision, and you have the right to choose when, how, and with whom you share it. You do not owe everyone your full story. Focus on what is relevant, what feels safe, and what supports your goals. If the conversation comes up with a potential employer, be honest without getting lost in details. Acknowledge the past, take responsibility where needed, and then shift the focus to who you are now, your growth, skills, values, and what you can bring to the workplace. Employers are often looking for reliability, attitude and willingness to learn just as much as experience.
I used to go to work every day, stop at a red light, and think, is today the day they are going to find out? That feeling stayed with me for two years, and I don’t want to see others carrying that same weight. If I could go back, I wouldn’t do it that way. I’d want to work with employers who accept me for who I am today, not judge me by my past. But I also understand it’s not always that simple, sometimes you don’t feel like you have the option, or you don’t know how to navigate the conversation. It can be tricky. That’s why trust, timing, and support matter. Your past is one chapter of your story, not the whole book, and the person you are now deserves to be seen too.
Renee – Lived Experience Advisory Panel, ACSO
Telling someone you’ve been incarcerated is not an easy conversation to have.
There is no guidebook for it. No script. Just a moment where you either choose to speak your truth or stay silent out of fear of being judged.
When I reconnected with my long-lost best friend at a friend’s birthday party a few months ago, I knew I didn’t want to rebuild our friendship on half-truths. So, I told her. I didn’t dramatise it. I didn’t over explain it. I didn’t beg for understanding. I simply told her my reality and trusted that if our friendship was real, it would hold.
And the reason I could tell her so openly was because I felt safe. Safe enough to know I wouldn’t be reduced to the worst chapter of my life. Safe enough to know I wouldn’t be spoken down to or looked at differently. Safe enough to know I would still be seen as me.
This time when I told my story it was different. There was no shame in the space between us. No interrogation. No change in tone. Just understanding. And that reminded me how powerful it is to feel emotionally safe. When you feel safe, you do not have to shrink. You do not have to over justify yourself. You can simply stand in your truth and be met with respect.
From my own personal experience, telling people you have been to prison can be incredibly daunting. The judgement can be loud. The assumptions can be heavy. People can treat you as if your past defines your entire character.
But here is what I know for sure: going to prison does not make you a bad person. Making bad choices does not make you a bad person. It makes you human. Human beings make mistakes. Human beings go through seasons of poor decisions, pain, survival and growth. Our past is part of our story, but it does not get to define who we are forever.
For anyone else in the same position, my advice is this: it is your story to tell. You never have to hide it, and you never have to rush it. Share it when you feel comfortable. Share it when you feel strong enough. Share it because you are choosing honesty and freedom, not because you feel forced to defend your past.
The right people will not define you by one chapter. They will see your growth. They will see your accountability. They will see your resilience. And most importantly, they will see you. I am grateful I had that moment with my long-lost friend and grateful I felt safe enough to speak. And grateful to be reminded by her that our past may shape us, but it does not own us.
Steph – Assertive Outreach Worker, ACSO
I decided to be honest about my journey. Not all employers will respect you for this, but the right ones will. I didn’t want to live with a secret hanging over my head. My past doesn’t define me, but it has shaped who I am and how I more forward in life.
I am an Assertive Outreach Worker at ACSO, I am not employed in a lived experience role, ACSO employed me for my skills, qualities, and qualifications. ACSO value my lived experience and view it as a great asset to our AOS team.
If you have survived incarceration, you can adapt and endure a lot! These are transferable skills. People who haven’t experienced incarceration can never learn these. I know first-hand how important the support I give is in my participants lives and ultimately how life changing it can be. I can connect and communicate with, and advocate for people on a different level, because I have lived it!
A criminal record in the community isn’t the big black mark it once was. There are people who have been through prison going on the study law, work in community services, and achieve amazing things.
Also, keep in mind, most of the education and programs you complete in custody can be listed on your CV.
Brendan – Lived Experience Advisory Panel
My experience is you weigh up the other person. Most people and professionals are fine. It’s your choice to disclose.
Me, I went for jobs that did not require a police report. And the adage “it’s not what you know but who you know” does apply to some extent. That’s how I got my job. Well, persistence, patience and a positive attitude has to be there to.
I also found, as I work two job sites, that the boss just wants the job done competently. If you’re reliable and honest and you show your work ethic to a very high standard, the reward will come.
I got out after 12. There were whole new looking for work, Centrelink systems and ways to communicate I had to adapt to. I just had to be patient and persistent. After 12 years in, I knew how to be patient.
I was with a job network provider that basically didn’t do too much for people. My advice is to have an open mind. They reacted to how the person acted, so I had to be proactive in pushing and bustling to get things done like my license and forklift ticket white card. I found that the system can work for you and when people see your drive they will assist.
I reckon it is how you participate. Don’t get me wrong it’s bloody hard, but you gotta be motivated. My motivation is I hate prison. For me motivation and connection are two things I have focused on.
My 2 cents.
The way you choose to disclose your history of contact with the criminal justice system is ultimately up to you. You can always choose to keep your history private if you prefer. We hope that sharing these insights and perspectives can help you process your own thoughts and feelings about sharing your own history of contact with the criminal justice system.
ACSO welcomes people who have been through the criminal justice system. From our Board, through to our frontline staff, and our Lived Experience Advisory Panel (LEAP), ACSO creates opportunities for people to use their lived experience as a strength and to support others who have come into contact with the justice system to make meaningful change in their lives.
You can learn more about us and the work we do online at:
acso.org.au
or by calling:
1800 524 200.
Talking about prison once you’re out in the community can be challenging. It’s difficult to know the right thing to say, or how people might react. What if people judge, or don’t understand? Is it better to be honest with an employer, or keep your history to yourself? What about telling old friends or new friends or potential romantic partners?
There are many difficult questions and no easy answers.
In this article, we would like to share some experiences and advice from four people who have been through the criminal justice system and now work with ACSO. We hope these experiences might help you process your own feelings and strategies for talking about prison on the outside.
Keep in mind, the way you choose to disclose your history of contact with the criminal justice system is ultimately up to you.
Pattie – Peer Support Worker, ACSO
Being open about your history at work is a personal decision, and you have the right to choose when, how, and with whom you share it. You do not owe everyone your full story. Focus on what is relevant, what feels safe, and what supports your goals. If the conversation comes up with a potential employer, be honest without getting lost in details. Acknowledge the past, take responsibility where needed, and then shift the focus to who you are now, your growth, skills, values, and what you can bring to the workplace. Employers are often looking for reliability, attitude and willingness to learn just as much as experience.
I used to go to work every day, stop at a red light, and think, is today the day they are going to find out? That feeling stayed with me for two years, and I don’t want to see others carrying that same weight. If I could go back, I wouldn’t do it that way. I’d want to work with employers who accept me for who I am today, not judge me by my past. But I also understand it’s not always that simple, sometimes you don’t feel like you have the option, or you don’t know how to navigate the conversation. It can be tricky. That’s why trust, timing, and support matter. Your past is one chapter of your story, not the whole book, and the person you are now deserves to be seen too.
Renee – Lived Experience Advisory Panel, ACSO
Telling someone you’ve been incarcerated is not an easy conversation to have.
There is no guidebook for it. No script. Just a moment where you either choose to speak your truth or stay silent out of fear of being judged.
When I reconnected with my long-lost best friend at a friend’s birthday party a few months ago, I knew I didn’t want to rebuild our friendship on half-truths. So, I told her. I didn’t dramatise it. I didn’t over explain it. I didn’t beg for understanding. I simply told her my reality and trusted that if our friendship was real, it would hold.
And the reason I could tell her so openly was because I felt safe. Safe enough to know I wouldn’t be reduced to the worst chapter of my life. Safe enough to know I wouldn’t be spoken down to or looked at differently. Safe enough to know I would still be seen as me.
This time when I told my story it was different. There was no shame in the space between us. No interrogation. No change in tone. Just understanding. And that reminded me how powerful it is to feel emotionally safe. When you feel safe, you do not have to shrink. You do not have to over justify yourself. You can simply stand in your truth and be met with respect.
From my own personal experience, telling people you have been to prison can be incredibly daunting. The judgement can be loud. The assumptions can be heavy. People can treat you as if your past defines your entire character.
But here is what I know for sure: going to prison does not make you a bad person. Making bad choices does not make you a bad person. It makes you human. Human beings make mistakes. Human beings go through seasons of poor decisions, pain, survival and growth. Our past is part of our story, but it does not get to define who we are forever.
For anyone else in the same position, my advice is this: it is your story to tell. You never have to hide it, and you never have to rush it. Share it when you feel comfortable. Share it when you feel strong enough. Share it because you are choosing honesty and freedom, not because you feel forced to defend your past.
The right people will not define you by one chapter. They will see your growth. They will see your accountability. They will see your resilience. And most importantly, they will see you. I am grateful I had that moment with my long-lost friend and grateful I felt safe enough to speak. And grateful to be reminded by her that our past may shape us, but it does not own us.
Steph – Assertive Outreach Worker, ACSO
I decided to be honest about my journey. Not all employers will respect you for this, but the right ones will. I didn’t want to live with a secret hanging over my head. My past doesn’t define me, but it has shaped who I am and how I more forward in life.
I am an Assertive Outreach Worker at ACSO, I am not employed in a lived experience role, ACSO employed me for my skills, qualities, and qualifications. ACSO value my lived experience and view it as a great asset to our AOS team.
If you have survived incarceration, you can adapt and endure a lot! These are transferable skills. People who haven’t experienced incarceration can never learn these. I know first-hand how important the support I give is in my participants lives and ultimately how life changing it can be. I can connect and communicate with, and advocate for people on a different level, because I have lived it!
A criminal record in the community isn’t the big black mark it once was. There are people who have been through prison going on the study law, work in community services, and achieve amazing things.
Also, keep in mind, most of the education and programs you complete in custody can be listed on your CV.
Brendan – Lived Experience Advisory Panel
My experience is you weigh up the other person. Most people and professionals are fine. It’s your choice to disclose.
Me, I went for jobs that did not require a police report. And the adage “it’s not what you know but who you know” does apply to some extent. That’s how I got my job. Well, persistence, patience and a positive attitude has to be there to.
I also found, as I work two job sites, that the boss just wants the job done competently. If you’re reliable and honest and you show your work ethic to a very high standard, the reward will come.
I got out after 12. There were whole new looking for work, Centrelink systems and ways to communicate I had to adapt to. I just had to be patient and persistent. After 12 years in, I knew how to be patient.
I was with a job network provider that basically didn’t do too much for people. My advice is to have an open mind. They reacted to how the person acted, so I had to be proactive in pushing and bustling to get things done like my license and forklift ticket white card. I found that the system can work for you and when people see your drive they will assist.
I reckon it is how you participate. Don’t get me wrong it’s bloody hard, but you gotta be motivated. My motivation is I hate prison. For me motivation and connection are two things I have focused on.
My 2 cents.
The way you choose to disclose your history of contact with the criminal justice system is ultimately up to you. You can always choose to keep your history private if you prefer. We hope that sharing these insights and perspectives can help you process your own thoughts and feelings about sharing your own history of contact with the criminal justice system.
ACSO welcomes people who have been through the criminal justice system. From our Board, through to our frontline staff, and our Lived Experience Advisory Panel (LEAP), ACSO creates opportunities for people to use their lived experience as a strength and to support others who have come into contact with the justice system to make meaningful change in their lives.
You can learn more about us and the work we do online at:
acso.org.au
or by calling:
1800 524 200.
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•
5 MIN READ
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Reintegration
ISSUE NO. 21
•
3 MIN READ
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Reintegration