Today is my daughter’s 13th birthday and because I’m incarcerated, I wasn’t allowed to call her yesterday.
My sister, who is like my firstborn because of the life we had growing up, welcomed her newest baby into the world. I couldn’t be there with her like I should have been.
Today I had a Zoom booked with my sister to meet my new niece who beautifully shares the same middle name as me. It would have been difficult to meet her through a screen but it would be better than nothing. And I would have been able to talk to my sister about missing my daughter’s birthday, and a milestone one at that.
I have worn my mask bravely today and the chance to take it off for a moment would have been immensely helpful.
But then we were locked down. Our Zooms were cancelled without a moment’s notice and when I asked for family to be contacted, I wasn’t told yes or no, I was simply ignored as though I hadn’t spoken at all.
Now I am locked down with the weight of the world on my shoulders, no way to ease the pain in my heart and I miss out on the chance to talk to my family on a day that I needed it the most. The worst part is, international Zooms still get to go ahead.
So because I was born here, I miss out. My circumstances don’t matter; the family that I love and need around me on these hard days don’t matter. I simply do not matter.
