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I am a proud Wiradjuri woman who has struggled with my identity for generations.
This is not the journey I planned. I didn’t wake up one day and say, ‘I want to go to prison and become an artist. I better start applying to all the different gangs and drug dealers and see who is hiring.’ No, that’s not how it happened. In fact, the road was a lot darker, violent and overall ruthless.
Human life has no meaning in the dangerous game of drugs and crime.
Nothing had value except rock. Everyone will lie, steal, hurt, and fuck you over to get it, keep it and have it. My story is a painful story. I have seen life taken from another person; their last breath taken while lying in my arms. I watched a man take the bullet that was meant for me. I still think about him every day. In that life, this is the real career path you’re choosing: addiction, jail, institutions, death and homelessness.
It’s not glamorous and no matter who you are or how big you roll, we all come crashing down. That’s the real story and doesn’t it sound like heaven.
Having your family taken away, your life stolen from you, home invasions, murders, suicides, violence, rapes, and people who think of you as human garbage and a means to an end. That’s it. There is no love in the game. Not really. Whether you know it or not. You’re being conned right now. They are planning it, and you will never see it coming. I’ve experienced it and so will you. You might be Queen today but you’re going to be their pawn tomorrow or the day after, I will guarantee it.
From there, I went into prison. It’s a system that didn’t care whether I got clean or if I reoffended and kept coming back through their gates.
After four days in the police holding cells, I had my period and was not allowed to shower, change my pad or underwear. I remember guards pulling faces at how I smelt. I was strip searched, my body tormented. It was awful. I went into DPFC a broken woman and prison broke me more.
But let me tell you the story of what my life is now. The new me is at peace with myself and the ghost of my past.
I found art and The Torch project. In prison, I was given a canvas and five different coloured paints and told to express myself. I thought, ‘yeah, ok sure, I will do that.’ I threw the canvas under my metal prison bed and left it sitting there gathering dust. I looked at it a few times, but it didn’t really interest me. I got so depressed, sad and alone after my dad had a heart attack in Bali and I couldn’t talk to him. My mind started playing tricks on me. I became very sick, mentally unable to cope. I locked my door, and I reached for the canvas and literally threw paint on it. Swished it around with my fingers as I didn’t have any paint brushes. That’s when ArtworkByAalayah was born.
I didn’t know it yet, but that canvas became my savior. The game changed and I kept at it every day for hours at a time without knowing that I was creating another path and another future for myself.
Now over 30 paintings later and hundreds of hours dedicated to my craft, the recovery and transformation of myself is breathtaking and truly remarkable. I am surrounded by art everywhere I go. The beautiful sky, the women protesting in the streets of Melbourne, the Victorian buildings, all the beautiful faces and all the different races. My blank canvas is a blank world that I can fill with whatever I choose.
My world is new, unknown and I have never lived this day before. To be honest I have not lived my life before now.
Thanks to all the love, care and support I have been given by the beautiful people at The Torch, Flat Out and FIGJAM. They all believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself. They saw something I did not. I was scared and I didn’t know love, honesty, pride, self worth and vulnerability. Now I have all those things. Becoming an artist in prison was not my plan. In fact, none of this was my plan. But it’s the gift God has given me, and I will cherish and nurture it for all my being.
This year, I am telling my story at ‘Confined 16’ exhibition, an exhibition of First Nations incarcerated artists in Victoria. I was one of the featured artists and I painted live at the exhibition and showed all the visitors my craft. My girls from FIGJAM and Flat Out were there to cheer me on and support me. The love I get today makes me excited for all the new experiences that life offers me.
Art saved my life and created this warrior I am today. I say yes to every opportunity that comes my way. If it’s not illegal, dishonest or hurts me or anyone else then I take a chance. This is the story of ArtworkByAalayah.
I am a proud Wiradjuri woman who has struggled with my identity for generations.
This is not the journey I planned. I didn’t wake up one day and say, ‘I want to go to prison and become an artist. I better start applying to all the different gangs and drug dealers and see who is hiring.’ No, that’s not how it happened. In fact, the road was a lot darker, violent and overall ruthless.
Human life has no meaning in the dangerous game of drugs and crime.
Nothing had value except rock. Everyone will lie, steal, hurt, and fuck you over to get it, keep it and have it. My story is a painful story. I have seen life taken from another person; their last breath taken while lying in my arms. I watched a man take the bullet that was meant for me. I still think about him every day. In that life, this is the real career path you’re choosing: addiction, jail, institutions, death and homelessness.
It’s not glamorous and no matter who you are or how big you roll, we all come crashing down. That’s the real story and doesn’t it sound like heaven.
Having your family taken away, your life stolen from you, home invasions, murders, suicides, violence, rapes, and people who think of you as human garbage and a means to an end. That’s it. There is no love in the game. Not really. Whether you know it or not. You’re being conned right now. They are planning it, and you will never see it coming. I’ve experienced it and so will you. You might be Queen today but you’re going to be their pawn tomorrow or the day after, I will guarantee it.
From there, I went into prison. It’s a system that didn’t care whether I got clean or if I reoffended and kept coming back through their gates.
After four days in the police holding cells, I had my period and was not allowed to shower, change my pad or underwear. I remember guards pulling faces at how I smelt. I was strip searched, my body tormented. It was awful. I went into DPFC a broken woman and prison broke me more.
But let me tell you the story of what my life is now. The new me is at peace with myself and the ghost of my past.
I found art and The Torch project. In prison, I was given a canvas and five different coloured paints and told to express myself. I thought, ‘yeah, ok sure, I will do that.’ I threw the canvas under my metal prison bed and left it sitting there gathering dust. I looked at it a few times, but it didn’t really interest me. I got so depressed, sad and alone after my dad had a heart attack in Bali and I couldn’t talk to him. My mind started playing tricks on me. I became very sick, mentally unable to cope. I locked my door, and I reached for the canvas and literally threw paint on it. Swished it around with my fingers as I didn’t have any paint brushes. That’s when ArtworkByAalayah was born.
I didn’t know it yet, but that canvas became my savior. The game changed and I kept at it every day for hours at a time without knowing that I was creating another path and another future for myself.
Now over 30 paintings later and hundreds of hours dedicated to my craft, the recovery and transformation of myself is breathtaking and truly remarkable. I am surrounded by art everywhere I go. The beautiful sky, the women protesting in the streets of Melbourne, the Victorian buildings, all the beautiful faces and all the different races. My blank canvas is a blank world that I can fill with whatever I choose.
My world is new, unknown and I have never lived this day before. To be honest I have not lived my life before now.
Thanks to all the love, care and support I have been given by the beautiful people at The Torch, Flat Out and FIGJAM. They all believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself. They saw something I did not. I was scared and I didn’t know love, honesty, pride, self worth and vulnerability. Now I have all those things. Becoming an artist in prison was not my plan. In fact, none of this was my plan. But it’s the gift God has given me, and I will cherish and nurture it for all my being.
This year, I am telling my story at ‘Confined 16’ exhibition, an exhibition of First Nations incarcerated artists in Victoria. I was one of the featured artists and I painted live at the exhibition and showed all the visitors my craft. My girls from FIGJAM and Flat Out were there to cheer me on and support me. The love I get today makes me excited for all the new experiences that life offers me.
Art saved my life and created this warrior I am today. I say yes to every opportunity that comes my way. If it’s not illegal, dishonest or hurts me or anyone else then I take a chance. This is the story of ArtworkByAalayah.
Kelly started writing for About Time whilst imprisoned at DPFC in Victoria. Whilst inside, she wrote on the cost of phone calls and lack of housing for people on parole. Kelly continues to write regularly for the paper, and is part of About Time’s lived experience writers network. Keep a lookout for her writing (and art!) in future editions.
Including a piece about kids dancing and going walkabout and Chippa's interpretation of Country.
This interview was part of Victorian Aboriginal Legal Service’s Invasion Day webinar in January this year. The Q&A spoke to an incredible panel of First Nations people, each with their own unique experiences of the criminal legal system.
This is my interpretation of Country. The greens and browns take me back to the quiet and secluded areas I've worked on and stayed on whilst camping and living off Country.
A wide-ranging report commissioned by the federal government has called for “urgent and proactive” system-level reforms to improve the standard of health care provided to First Nations people in prison.
Help keep the momentum going. All donations are tax deductible and will be vital in providing an essential resource for people in prison and their loved ones.
Help us get About Time off the ground. All donations are tax deductible and will be vital in providing an essential resource for people in prison and their loved ones.
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