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We are hardwired to know how to react to danger – when we perceive a threat, our bodies instantly assess it to determine how we should respond.
Unfortunately, our brains sometimes make mistakes when we perceive a situation differently from what is happening.
Imagine you see something out of the corner of your eye, it’s a dark colour and it’s moving fast and low to the ground. You jump to the conclusion that it’s a snake. Because our brains are hardwired to think that snake = potential danger, you might immediately feel a rush of adrenaline, become extremely alert, feel your palms getting sweaty and your heart start to race. These are all signs that your sympathetic nervous system has been activated, and your body has started to prepare itself for an attack. This is also known as “fight or flight”. The whole point of this system is to prepare you to assess and respond to threats, to survive.
Because this threat detection and response happens automatically, we can sometimes find ourselves in an elevated state without knowing how or why we got there.
Essentially, what happens is the brain recognises a possible threat and then tries to determine if we can escape (flight), attack and overpower (fight) or distract or deter (freeze). This whole process happens extremely quickly, often before we have properly assessed whether the threat is real or not. Take the example from earlier, of a dark, fast-moving shape seen in the corner of your eye. If you jumped to the conclusion that this was a snake, your brain might determine that the best way forward is to freeze to avoid the snake noticing you. After a few seconds of standing as still as possible, you might realise that it was not a snake after all. While this is a pretty harmless example (after all, you probably just look a bit silly), this pattern of responding to perceived threat can become a problem when we start dealing with other people.
Imagine you are in the yard, and you notice someone staring at you. You start to feel on edge, your body is in the fight or flight state, you think that this person is getting ready to attack you, so you attack first. This might seem like a reasonable response when your brain is in fight or flight mode, but, unfortunately, the brain is not taking in all the information needed to properly determine if there is a threat. This is because the brain is in survival mode, focused only on safety, without acknowledging the possibility that there may be other explanations.
When our brains are in survival mode, which is where fight or flight is activated, we are not able to access our higher-order thinking and therefore struggle not to react immediately.
Fear is an important emotional state, as it protects us from potential threats. If the potential threat was a snake or if that person in the yard was going to attack you, it is, of course, important to be prepared and to respond. Unfortunately, if we do this without first investigating the validity of a potential threat, we run the risk of reacting inappropriately. We don’t want to turn off this system entirely, but we do want to increase our ability to properly assess the threat. To do that, we need to regulate our nervous system so that we can access higher-order thinking. I like to use the STOP skill to do this:
When we use this skill, we give our brains enough time to consider the situation, without putting ourselves in danger.
Think about the scenario where someone was staring at you in the yard. If you stop, breathe and observe, you might notice that they are staring not at you but at something behind you. Or perhaps they are trying to get your attention because they recognise you. Then, you can proceed with caution. You might decide to approach, ask them what they are looking at or ignore them. If you have determined using the STOP skill that they are a threat, you can decide if you should use fight, flight or freeze rather than letting your survival mode brain decide for you. This will also allow you to consider the pros and cons of each response and therefore make the best decision for yourself.
The point of understanding fear is not to take it away. It is important to understand how this process works in your brain and your body so that you can make informed decisions about how to act, rather than acting on instinct alone.
We are hardwired to know how to react to danger – when we perceive a threat, our bodies instantly assess it to determine how we should respond.
Unfortunately, our brains sometimes make mistakes when we perceive a situation differently from what is happening.
Imagine you see something out of the corner of your eye, it’s a dark colour and it’s moving fast and low to the ground. You jump to the conclusion that it’s a snake. Because our brains are hardwired to think that snake = potential danger, you might immediately feel a rush of adrenaline, become extremely alert, feel your palms getting sweaty and your heart start to race. These are all signs that your sympathetic nervous system has been activated, and your body has started to prepare itself for an attack. This is also known as “fight or flight”. The whole point of this system is to prepare you to assess and respond to threats, to survive.
Because this threat detection and response happens automatically, we can sometimes find ourselves in an elevated state without knowing how or why we got there.
Essentially, what happens is the brain recognises a possible threat and then tries to determine if we can escape (flight), attack and overpower (fight) or distract or deter (freeze). This whole process happens extremely quickly, often before we have properly assessed whether the threat is real or not. Take the example from earlier, of a dark, fast-moving shape seen in the corner of your eye. If you jumped to the conclusion that this was a snake, your brain might determine that the best way forward is to freeze to avoid the snake noticing you. After a few seconds of standing as still as possible, you might realise that it was not a snake after all. While this is a pretty harmless example (after all, you probably just look a bit silly), this pattern of responding to perceived threat can become a problem when we start dealing with other people.
Imagine you are in the yard, and you notice someone staring at you. You start to feel on edge, your body is in the fight or flight state, you think that this person is getting ready to attack you, so you attack first. This might seem like a reasonable response when your brain is in fight or flight mode, but, unfortunately, the brain is not taking in all the information needed to properly determine if there is a threat. This is because the brain is in survival mode, focused only on safety, without acknowledging the possibility that there may be other explanations.
When our brains are in survival mode, which is where fight or flight is activated, we are not able to access our higher-order thinking and therefore struggle not to react immediately.
Fear is an important emotional state, as it protects us from potential threats. If the potential threat was a snake or if that person in the yard was going to attack you, it is, of course, important to be prepared and to respond. Unfortunately, if we do this without first investigating the validity of a potential threat, we run the risk of reacting inappropriately. We don’t want to turn off this system entirely, but we do want to increase our ability to properly assess the threat. To do that, we need to regulate our nervous system so that we can access higher-order thinking. I like to use the STOP skill to do this:
When we use this skill, we give our brains enough time to consider the situation, without putting ourselves in danger.
Think about the scenario where someone was staring at you in the yard. If you stop, breathe and observe, you might notice that they are staring not at you but at something behind you. Or perhaps they are trying to get your attention because they recognise you. Then, you can proceed with caution. You might decide to approach, ask them what they are looking at or ignore them. If you have determined using the STOP skill that they are a threat, you can decide if you should use fight, flight or freeze rather than letting your survival mode brain decide for you. This will also allow you to consider the pros and cons of each response and therefore make the best decision for yourself.
The point of understanding fear is not to take it away. It is important to understand how this process works in your brain and your body so that you can make informed decisions about how to act, rather than acting on instinct alone.
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