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Nothing can prepare a person for the torrent of troubling thoughts that imprisonment can bring about, both while inside and after release. Day by day, time inside changes your personality, confidence and sense of self. Without you knowing it, all sorts of negative messages take root in your mind and become ‘stuck thoughts’, which are damaging feelings, thoughts and ideas that feel impossible to move on from.
The purpose of this article is to raise awareness of the hold that ‘stuck thoughts’ can have over you; to show you how to notice and identify ‘stuck thoughts’, and how to challenge and overcome them.
Joseph* was imprisoned for nearly two years. He spent a lot of time in his head. His thoughts were often repetitive, overwhelming and caused him much distress. To take control of these ‘stuck thoughts’, he decided to write them down.
The diagram above shows some thoughts Joseph wrote down, identifying how he was thinking and feeling about different stages of his life, from the past to the future.
The first step on the road from being stuck, is to notice your persistent thoughts and write them down. These thoughts are often tied to specific times in one’s life. For example, if you think about the past, what thoughts come? If you think about the present or imprisonment, what thoughts come? When you think about the future, what thoughts come? These can be good and bad, and from there, you can then identify ‘stuck thoughts’ – or unwelcome ideas that seem impossible to shift. For example, in Joseph’s diagram above, the ‘past view’ box means that when Joseph thinks about the past, the persistent thought is, ‘I’ll never be the same’.
The next step is to notice other thoughts, or associated thoughts that led to the stuck beliefs. These are likely to be fleeting thoughts that come and go. While they may not be as persistent as stuck thoughts, they are harmful and are a building block for the ‘stuck thought’. For instance, Joseph realised that his ‘stuck thought’ of “I’ll never be the same” was informed by the following thoughts:
Only when Joseph was able to see all this written down could he begin to challenge these thoughts and perceptions. Only then could he see distorted and exaggerated thinking, and set about putting these misapprehensions to bed.
The next step is challenging his thinking and learning from the negative thoughts.
In regards to an idealised version of his past self – ‘The Old Me’ – he realised it wasn’t the truth. From the negative place of prison, he could only remember the good things about his past life. When he was able to look at this thought with objectivity, he could see that his life was far from ideal; after all, he was on a path to prison. By removing the idealisation of the past, he realised that life changes are inevitable and can also bring positive things.
He also realised his ‘lost’ personality feeling was somewhat overblown. It was mostly a distortion – a perception of himself that his friends didn’t recognise. He remembered grimly keeping his head down through his sentence and realised this was a mindset that persisted after release, interfering with his ability to go out and have a good time. He resolved to consciously rebuild his sense of self and be patient as he did so.
His sense of ‘missing’ strengths was a normal response to having his confidence rocked, and over time, he regained composure and realised he had other strengths. His time in prison had even provided him with new strengths – for example, it made him more patient! This opened the door to new possibilities.
On enjoyment, he decided to allow himself some adjustment time when he leaves prison, acknowledging that it is okay to feel numb for a while. He also realised that what he enjoyed in the future would be different to what he enjoyed in the past, but that this did not necessarily mean it was worse.
All of the above allowed Joseph to see his old ‘stuck point’ of “I’ll never be the same” in a completely different light. He acknowledged that the statement is true – indeed, his life had changed, but that the troubling ‘bite’ that his old belief had was now gone. He didn’t feel controlled or owned by it and felt ready to move on to working on all his other ‘stuck points’.
I welcome you to try this yourself. Use Joseph’s timeline of stuck points as a template, or take a big sheet of paper and write a timeline on it, marking off and filling in key moments in your life, good and bad. Once you have done that, concentrate on noticing and identifying those unwelcome ideas that seem impossible to shift, as well as any associated thoughts. The moment you catch yourself stuck in a thinking loop, pause. Notice when you’re replaying the past. That urge to go over it again and again comes from how deeply the event hurt you. The worse it feels, the more your mind tries to ‘solve’ it by thinking it to death. But you already know the ending, and no amount of replay will change it.
You’ve moved past smaller failures before. This is heavier, yes, but it’s still possible to shift. You can use the same principles: pause, reset, redirect. Give yourself permission to let go. It’s not denial – it’s survival. Dare to believe you can heal, even from the hardest parts. That belief is your starting point.
Nothing can prepare a person for the torrent of troubling thoughts that imprisonment can bring about, both while inside and after release. Day by day, time inside changes your personality, confidence and sense of self. Without you knowing it, all sorts of negative messages take root in your mind and become ‘stuck thoughts’, which are damaging feelings, thoughts and ideas that feel impossible to move on from.
The purpose of this article is to raise awareness of the hold that ‘stuck thoughts’ can have over you; to show you how to notice and identify ‘stuck thoughts’, and how to challenge and overcome them.
Joseph* was imprisoned for nearly two years. He spent a lot of time in his head. His thoughts were often repetitive, overwhelming and caused him much distress. To take control of these ‘stuck thoughts’, he decided to write them down.
The diagram above shows some thoughts Joseph wrote down, identifying how he was thinking and feeling about different stages of his life, from the past to the future.
The first step on the road from being stuck, is to notice your persistent thoughts and write them down. These thoughts are often tied to specific times in one’s life. For example, if you think about the past, what thoughts come? If you think about the present or imprisonment, what thoughts come? When you think about the future, what thoughts come? These can be good and bad, and from there, you can then identify ‘stuck thoughts’ – or unwelcome ideas that seem impossible to shift. For example, in Joseph’s diagram above, the ‘past view’ box means that when Joseph thinks about the past, the persistent thought is, ‘I’ll never be the same’.
The next step is to notice other thoughts, or associated thoughts that led to the stuck beliefs. These are likely to be fleeting thoughts that come and go. While they may not be as persistent as stuck thoughts, they are harmful and are a building block for the ‘stuck thought’. For instance, Joseph realised that his ‘stuck thought’ of “I’ll never be the same” was informed by the following thoughts:
Only when Joseph was able to see all this written down could he begin to challenge these thoughts and perceptions. Only then could he see distorted and exaggerated thinking, and set about putting these misapprehensions to bed.
The next step is challenging his thinking and learning from the negative thoughts.
In regards to an idealised version of his past self – ‘The Old Me’ – he realised it wasn’t the truth. From the negative place of prison, he could only remember the good things about his past life. When he was able to look at this thought with objectivity, he could see that his life was far from ideal; after all, he was on a path to prison. By removing the idealisation of the past, he realised that life changes are inevitable and can also bring positive things.
He also realised his ‘lost’ personality feeling was somewhat overblown. It was mostly a distortion – a perception of himself that his friends didn’t recognise. He remembered grimly keeping his head down through his sentence and realised this was a mindset that persisted after release, interfering with his ability to go out and have a good time. He resolved to consciously rebuild his sense of self and be patient as he did so.
His sense of ‘missing’ strengths was a normal response to having his confidence rocked, and over time, he regained composure and realised he had other strengths. His time in prison had even provided him with new strengths – for example, it made him more patient! This opened the door to new possibilities.
On enjoyment, he decided to allow himself some adjustment time when he leaves prison, acknowledging that it is okay to feel numb for a while. He also realised that what he enjoyed in the future would be different to what he enjoyed in the past, but that this did not necessarily mean it was worse.
All of the above allowed Joseph to see his old ‘stuck point’ of “I’ll never be the same” in a completely different light. He acknowledged that the statement is true – indeed, his life had changed, but that the troubling ‘bite’ that his old belief had was now gone. He didn’t feel controlled or owned by it and felt ready to move on to working on all his other ‘stuck points’.
I welcome you to try this yourself. Use Joseph’s timeline of stuck points as a template, or take a big sheet of paper and write a timeline on it, marking off and filling in key moments in your life, good and bad. Once you have done that, concentrate on noticing and identifying those unwelcome ideas that seem impossible to shift, as well as any associated thoughts. The moment you catch yourself stuck in a thinking loop, pause. Notice when you’re replaying the past. That urge to go over it again and again comes from how deeply the event hurt you. The worse it feels, the more your mind tries to ‘solve’ it by thinking it to death. But you already know the ending, and no amount of replay will change it.
You’ve moved past smaller failures before. This is heavier, yes, but it’s still possible to shift. You can use the same principles: pause, reset, redirect. Give yourself permission to let go. It’s not denial – it’s survival. Dare to believe you can heal, even from the hardest parts. That belief is your starting point.
All of us have times in our lives when we feel tense, nervous, worried and frightened. We might feel overwhelmed by the thoughts that keep going around in our head or by events in our lives that are facing us.
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