I am a prisoner in Victoria and I am 11 years into a 20 year sentence for murder. I sit in my cell and relive what I did every day. I am in this place because of drugs and alcohol. I opened myself up to a dark world of criminal behaviour and drug use. I didn’t know what was at the end of this journey – prison or death. I feel like I was in a car doing 200 km/h straight at a wall. Everyone around me could see this wall, but I didn’t want to believe it was there. I hit it, and I hit it hard. My journey started at the age of 13 years old. I didn’t start using drugs because I had a bad upbringing, or my life was so bad that I had to use to numb the pain. I grew up a normal kid and my parents provided me with what I needed. My problem was I struggled to interact with others and I would do whatever I could just so kids my age would want to be my friend. When I started to become dependent on drugs, I started to do crime. When I would drink or smoke weed my crimes were small, they were things like graffiti charges, property damage and shop thefts, but when I became dependent on ice and opioids my crimes changed to stolen cars, assault, assault with a weapon, robberies and then eventually murder. The more serious the drugs, the more serious the crimes became.
I selfishly took a life out of this world. My actions affected a mother, a father, a family, and a community. I turned 20 in 2012 and I got sentenced to 20 years in prison in 2013. When I started heavy drug use, I alienated my family and friends, I stole and lied to those that I loved and held close to me. I would turn on those that would only want to help. I could never see what they saw because I was so heavy in my drug use that I never wanted to believe there was something wrong with me and I especially didn’t want to blame my drug use as the problem. My family knew where I was going to end up, only if I had listened. It took me to take a life to change my life. It’s upsetting to think I had to ruin a family to get my family back. Since coming to prison I have changed. I would be lying if I said I still don’t battle with drug addiction issues. I was on the methadone program for a few years but I am now clean of all substances. I am constantly trying to better myself with education and I love my fitness. The boy that walked into this place is now a man and I can honestly say this place saved my life. A lot of families have gone through or are going through this exact same situation with loved ones.
This story is to help those that are at the start of their destructive behaviour, to help shed some light on this dark journey and to show them this life only ends one or two ways. Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever thought I would be in prison for the next 20 years. I lived the best years of my life in a cell but it doesn’t mean I have to give up.
If you are going through the same things as I once did, there is help. Your family and those closest to you love you.
You’re not alone in this journey we call drug addiction.
I am a prisoner in Victoria and I am 11 years into a 20 year sentence for murder. I sit in my cell and relive what I did every day. I am in this place because of drugs and alcohol. I opened myself up to a dark world of criminal behaviour and drug use. I didn’t know what was at the end of this journey – prison or death. I feel like I was in a car doing 200 km/h straight at a wall. Everyone around me could see this wall, but I didn’t want to believe it was there. I hit it, and I hit it hard. My journey started at the age of 13 years old. I didn’t start using drugs because I had a bad upbringing, or my life was so bad that I had to use to numb the pain. I grew up a normal kid and my parents provided me with what I needed. My problem was I struggled to interact with others and I would do whatever I could just so kids my age would want to be my friend. When I started to become dependent on drugs, I started to do crime. When I would drink or smoke weed my crimes were small, they were things like graffiti charges, property damage and shop thefts, but when I became dependent on ice and opioids my crimes changed to stolen cars, assault, assault with a weapon, robberies and then eventually murder. The more serious the drugs, the more serious the crimes became.
I selfishly took a life out of this world. My actions affected a mother, a father, a family, and a community. I turned 20 in 2012 and I got sentenced to 20 years in prison in 2013. When I started heavy drug use, I alienated my family and friends, I stole and lied to those that I loved and held close to me. I would turn on those that would only want to help. I could never see what they saw because I was so heavy in my drug use that I never wanted to believe there was something wrong with me and I especially didn’t want to blame my drug use as the problem. My family knew where I was going to end up, only if I had listened. It took me to take a life to change my life. It’s upsetting to think I had to ruin a family to get my family back. Since coming to prison I have changed. I would be lying if I said I still don’t battle with drug addiction issues. I was on the methadone program for a few years but I am now clean of all substances. I am constantly trying to better myself with education and I love my fitness. The boy that walked into this place is now a man and I can honestly say this place saved my life. A lot of families have gone through or are going through this exact same situation with loved ones.
This story is to help those that are at the start of their destructive behaviour, to help shed some light on this dark journey and to show them this life only ends one or two ways. Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever thought I would be in prison for the next 20 years. I lived the best years of my life in a cell but it doesn’t mean I have to give up.
If you are going through the same things as I once did, there is help. Your family and those closest to you love you.
You’re not alone in this journey we call drug addiction.
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Routine becomes a necessity while serving a prison sentence. Our day always begins with an early wake up for a head count. It is challenging to have a healthy diet in jail as the price to be healthy is unaffordable and the ability to purchase vegetables for the majority is unattainable. For breakfast we are provided with several slices of bread and a handful of cereal. You would have to starve yourself if you are trying to lose weight.
I spent nine months at Dillwynia CC in NSW; the first few weeks in Area 1 max and then in medium, but I quite quickly progressed to Area 2 minimum. I am currently completing 6 months reintegration home detention. This was my first time in prison and I feel that I did my time well. I went in prepared for anything but also with a basic daily plan that I could adhere to no matter what.
I’m an inmate who spent the last 20 months in MRRC. I was 24 when I was under arrest. During this time, I lost everything I valued before. I lost my reputation by news, which made lots of friends leave this ‘horrible’ me. I borrowed and spent all my money on a lawyer, I also was expelled from school in my senior year. I went to the worst situation of my life.
It is About Time incarcerated people are given the encouragement to share the truth of their experiences. Your paper will make this possible despite the obstacles you do, and will, face.
Action, not only words, shows the power of one, then two, four, eight…paying it forward. Hope for the broke, that healing is possible both for victim and perpetrator.
We ought not be defined by our less good behaviour.
About Time Media acknowledges the traditional owners of the lands across Australia and particularly acknowledges the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation, traditional owners of the land on which About Time Media is based.
We acknowledge the continuing impacts of the criminal legal system on First Nations people, including disproportionate rates of incarceration and deaths in custody, which remain a national shame.
We pay deep respect to Elders past and present, and all families of those who have lost loved ones in prison.
© About Time Media Ltd.
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