I am a prisoner in Victoria and I am 11 years into a 20 year sentence for murder. I sit in my cell and relive what I did every day. I am in this place because of drugs and alcohol. I opened myself up to a dark world of criminal behaviour and drug use. I didn’t know what was at the end of this journey – prison or death. I feel like I was in a car doing 200 km/h straight at a wall. Everyone around me could see this wall, but I didn’t want to believe it was there. I hit it, and I hit it hard. My journey started at the age of 13 years old. I didn’t start using drugs because I had a bad upbringing, or my life was so bad that I had to use to numb the pain. I grew up a normal kid and my parents provided me with what I needed. My problem was I struggled to interact with others and I would do whatever I could just so kids my age would want to be my friend. When I started to become dependent on drugs, I started to do crime. When I would drink or smoke weed my crimes were small, they were things like graffiti charges, property damage and shop thefts, but when I became dependent on ice and opioids my crimes changed to stolen cars, assault, assault with a weapon, robberies and then eventually murder. The more serious the drugs, the more serious the crimes became.

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I selfishly took a life out of this world. My actions affected a mother, a father, a family, and a community. I turned 20 in 2012 and I got sentenced to 20 years in prison in 2013. When I started heavy drug use, I alienated my family and friends, I stole and lied to those that I loved and held close to me. I would turn on those that would only want to help. I could never see what they saw because I was so heavy in my drug use that I never wanted to believe there was something wrong with me and I especially didn’t want to blame my drug use as the problem. My family knew where I was going to end up, only if I had listened. It took me to take a life to change my life. It’s upsetting to think I had to ruin a family to get my family back. Since coming to prison I have changed. I would be lying if I said I still don’t battle with drug addiction issues. I was on the methadone program for a few years but I am now clean of all substances. I am constantly trying to better myself with education and I love my fitness. The boy that walked into this place is now a man and I can honestly say this place saved my life. A lot of families have gone through or are going through this exact same situation with loved ones.

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This story is to help those that are at the start of their destructive behaviour, to help shed some light on this dark journey and to show them this life only ends one or two ways. Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever thought I would be in prison for the next 20 years. I lived the best years of my life in a cell but it doesn’t mean I have to give up.

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If you are going through the same things as I once did, there is help. Your family and those closest to you love you.

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You’re not alone in this journey we call drug addiction.