ISSUE NO. 4
October 2024
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Letters

A Birthday on the Inside

By
Chris

Chris writes from Port Phillip Prison in Victoria.

'Yard' by Koko, $400, #5342, 95cm x 70cm, acrylic on canvas, available to purchase at www.nsw.gov.au/arts-and-culture/boom-gate-gallery/

Hi there, my name is Chris and I sit here, again, in P.P.P. with another sentence, with old feelings of loss or sadness. I just had my 39 year old birthday, again thinking about how many I’ve done being locked up. I’ve done jail everywhere from WA, SA, VIC, just about every place that you can in those states too, from a very young age, for everything from murder to fighting, speed chasing, bad assaults, theft, fraud… everything. I’ve been in fights with me getting stabbed a lot, to me stabbing other inmates, and the normal hustle with drugs, inside and out. I still have the fear of getting out with nothing, no family help or anything to show from life. Scared at times or even happy as well. Reading this paper, I felt an urge to write to say, ‘hi’. Not sure what to say; my spelling is a setback. with the feeling of not to send this but I’ve sat in my cell as a young child, thinking to myself that I won't be a 40-year-old man in jail, but here I am again. I struggle everyday and hope that I'll get rich or have some sort of good life with money or just a feeling of accomplishment in life where people will say they're proud of me, or a crew that would follow me,thinking I am a good man that you can rely on. So, I guess, I hope someone will read this and understand or know that they can ask or have faith in a brother that is here, always.

But yeah, just thought I'd say what I was feeling to break the barrier of the ‘macho’ feelings and know that life is good, but you don't have to spend it locked up. Do something with yourself, please, because there are men that have enough time for all of us.

Respect, love, earn feelings of safety, and just have a good life, inside or not. Respect always yourself, family, and others.

Chris.

Hi there, my name is Chris and I sit here, again, in P.P.P. with another sentence, with old feelings of loss or sadness. I just had my 39 year old birthday, again thinking about how many I’ve done being locked up. I’ve done jail everywhere from WA, SA, VIC, just about every place that you can in those states too, from a very young age, for everything from murder to fighting, speed chasing, bad assaults, theft, fraud… everything. I’ve been in fights with me getting stabbed a lot, to me stabbing other inmates, and the normal hustle with drugs, inside and out. I still have the fear of getting out with nothing, no family help or anything to show from life. Scared at times or even happy as well. Reading this paper, I felt an urge to write to say, ‘hi’. Not sure what to say; my spelling is a setback. with the feeling of not to send this but I’ve sat in my cell as a young child, thinking to myself that I won't be a 40-year-old man in jail, but here I am again. I struggle everyday and hope that I'll get rich or have some sort of good life with money or just a feeling of accomplishment in life where people will say they're proud of me, or a crew that would follow me,thinking I am a good man that you can rely on. So, I guess, I hope someone will read this and understand or know that they can ask or have faith in a brother that is here, always.

But yeah, just thought I'd say what I was feeling to break the barrier of the ‘macho’ feelings and know that life is good, but you don't have to spend it locked up. Do something with yourself, please, because there are men that have enough time for all of us.

Respect, love, earn feelings of safety, and just have a good life, inside or not. Respect always yourself, family, and others.

Chris.

This
letter
was originally printed in the
October 2024
edition of About Time.

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About Time is the national newspaper for Australian prisons and detention facilities

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