After multiple sentences and long stints in prison, I am in the process of understanding myself and the impacts of my behaviours. I am writing to About Time to share with others what I have learnt. I hope this is helpful to others in similar situations to me.

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Being an Indigenous Man

I am a 40-year-old Indigenous man of Maori and Aboriginal descent. I am a result of inter-generational trauma (although this is not the reason I am incarcerated). Colonisation has had a significant impact on Indigenous people’s culture and way of life. Indigenous people are a minority population in this country but here, in Western Australia, we fill these jails.

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I refuse to feel anger, humiliation, resentment, and powerlessness which some attribute to colonialism. I find negative rumination detrimental to my health and wellbeing. I believe that racism is a taught and learned behaviour as are all behaviours, views and traditions.

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When considering interactions and social acceptance, I feel strongly that a person’s character and virtues should be his measure and never his race, class or mistakes – it’s how we learn from our mistakes that matters.

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Accountability – what Is It?

True accountability comes after a thorough self-assessment of one’s actions. Denial, blame, and justification profoundly impact upon an individual’s ability to see themselves as others do.

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I have seen so much pain, anger and shame in here. Trauma can affect different people in different ways. But I have seen quality interactions here too – brotherly love and respect.

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A lot of us in this situation are not malicious, nor do we lack empathy. The feeling of shame is an indicator of this. I live with a sense of shame but this only strengthens my resolve for change. To achieve this, an honest account of my thoughts and behaviours was warranted, and that is accountability.

Our minds

The mind is a place within itself – it can make a hell of heaven and a heaven from hell. Perceptions and beliefs are usually formed from our experiences – what we learnt in childhood through to what we’ve seen and been taught. Our younger developmental years are when we learn a lot of our worst behaviours and as we age, we either deny their presence, potency, or justify them with reason.

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If we’re able to be honest with ourselves and our pasts, then we can rectify years of negative behaviours through understanding, then fundamentally changing, negative attitudes and beliefs. This is how I’ve managed to overcome years of self-destructive and self-serving thoughts and behaviours.

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I’m okay with not getting my way

Sometimes I won’t get what I want, or win, or have it my way. I now realise this is okay, and I don’t mind when others have good days and I can only hope that they don’t mind when I do. Everyone has different views, beliefs, traditions, and opinions. This is okay too.

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I stopped measuring myself against others and am working towards being a better me. Life is complex and I know that it’s disheartening to see people make it while you feel left behind. But it’s okay.

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You can say no

We have the right to say no, and we should feel safe in doing so. It is important to feel confident in starting over, and the only true limits are how hard you’re willing to work for it.

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“I shall not argue complexities as an excuse for in-action.”

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I’m focused on growing as an individual, by ensuring quality health and wellbeing, as well as having strong, loving and productive relationships. This will strengthen my resolve towards staying drug-free, thus eliminating my chances of coming back to prison. I don’t want the past to affect my present because it will only distort my future.

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Friend, whatever it is you choose to do with your life, I for one salute you!

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Myself, I have dreams and aspirations, and I have set goals in order to fulfill my plans. I acknowledge that I have challenges ahead, but I don’t think they’re insurmountable. I realised that I have a duty to my family. I was meant to provide safety, security, and love to the ones that mean the most to me. You know what? No matter the time that has elapsed in my absence, I endeavour to be there for them. Life is truly short, and squandering the unique time that we humans have available to us (I hope is at the forefront of your conscious thoughts now) is worth thinking about.

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My ancestors that came before me are either looking down on me, or not. One thing is certain, their survival and eventual coupling has borne me an opportunity at life. It’s time to be accountable and make mature decisions. I will finish with these parting words: you are worth loving and the moment you start loving yourself, you will achieve more than you know!